thesisthoughts

During the recent school holidays I gave a two and a half hour presentation on my thesis to the literacy leaders of professional development, here in the north of the country. I was extremely nervous and hardly slept at all the night before. Some of my jitters were connected to the fact that this was really the first time I was presenting my own research to an audience and the rest were language related. It was a strange experience thinking and then talking my way thorough my material in Hebrew. The audience was extremely enthusiastic and I received many compliments, both on the day and by email afterwards. This was a group of 30 or so close colleagues and I felt that they were truly interested in what I have learned. The second part of the lecture dealt with blogging in general, edublogging and my own blogging experience. Many of the participants had never even seen a blog before.

This week we had a professional learning day at school. The grade six pupils taught the younger classes for four hours and the staff all met in the staff room. Apart from my lecture on blogging, two other teachers discussed their recent research. It was a fantastic day and again I had a wonderful response. Two of the teachers took the details for wordpresswhich is the most suitable site for Hebrew bloggers (as far as I can tell) and one of them has already signed up to open a blog herself.

I am constantly aware that I am very lucky to have the opportunities I do to share my learning and my conclusions with my peers. Maybe lucky isn’t the word I am looking for, maybe privileged?

The other night I spoke to my thesis supervisor on the phone for the first time. Although we worked together on my thesis for almost a year and he both taught me one unit in the past and helped me publish an article, we have never met and never spoken on the phone. Distance learning is such an interesting phenomenon…

Talking on the phone is so different to email conversations which allow a slower pace, to stop and recollect your thoughts and present questions and answers in an organized fashion. As I have become accustomed to doing all of my professional “talking” in writing, I was quite nervous before the phone rang.

We had an interesting telephone conversation and I managed to gain a lot of interesting points to think about concerning my examiners’ reports and my thesis in general. Probably the most important part of the chat was that we began to discuss the where to from here??? questions.

It is now clear that the time has come to make the big decision about continuing my study as a doctoral student. If I’m going to do it there seems that there isn’t much point in waiting. My workload isn’t going to get any lighter in the near future. The framework will help me find the time for pursuing the journey I feel I must continue.

Decisions, decisions….

I’m off to the swimming pool for my last day of lifesaving duty. Autumn is well and truly here and it really is too cool to go into the water. Maybe I’ll be able to sit there alone for an hour or two to continue work on the article I am trying to edit.

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Well, my waiting is over and I am extremely happy with the grade I received for my thesis (to say the least!). In addition to the mark, I understand that the thorough and extensive feedback I received from both examiners is an honour. I was surprised to see my work being treated so seriously and will definately follow up each of the points presented.

I have read both reports several times and my head is swimming with thoughts about the incredible process I have undegone and about the work I have produced. Thought about the future are also beginning to arise.

I will be back in the next few days, I need to reflect here in writing.  I imagine my thoughts will slowly unravel soon. Maybe the fireworks in my head are making it difficult to think? Or… maybe it is school which is making me fuzzy…

Waiting…waiting…waiting! I’ve had enough of waiting and it’s making me nervous!

What am I waiting for?

• The grade for my thesis – I still have a few weeks to go before I’ll hear any feedback. There is nothing I can do to make the time pass and I certainly can’t do anything at this stage to improve my mark so…I will just have to keep waiting patiently! 
• Narrative article that I sent to journal A – I haven’t heard anything – not even if they received it by email and I sent it off over a month ago. Wait! Maybe I should check if they got it? I don’t know if that isn’t being pushy. I will definitely keep waiting.
• Narrative article that I sent to journal B – I know it was received and read and that it will probably be accepted. Again, I have to wait and see.
• The beginning of the school year – In Israel, schools open on the 1st of September, next Monday. This year I will be working full time at our school (instead of leading PD in other schools two days a week). After school, one day a week, I will teach two PD courses for teachers, both according to the principles discussed in my thesis.

At school it will be a mixed year. I will have many hours in my role as vice principal, about 8 hrs in my role as head of teaching and leader of PD, 8 hours teaching ESL to two grade 6 classes, 2 hours teaching bible studies to grade 6, and 2 hours participating in a digital comics competition which brings together religious and secular pupils as they learn about other cultures and tolerance (last time one of my pupils came second in the final). I will also have 4 hours with groups of stronger pupils in our striving for excellence program. Together we will experiment with blogging – something new to me, our school and Israeli primary schools in general. I have lots of plans and am waiting for it all to begin.

 I still can’t decide if I should keep blogging here or open a new work blog. Let’s WAIT and see.

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I can’t believe that my thesis has been handed in and that this enormous task is behind me.

It has been over a month since I blogged because I was just reading, writing and revising 20 or so hours a day. I was exhausted but more than that, I was riding an emotional roller-coaster. The closer I got to finishing, the more excited and nervous I became. On the one hand I was waiting to submit the piece and be done with it and on the other, I was upset that I was leaving this incredible learning experience behind. Tears of joy, achievement, pride, frustration and worry all joined, I found it hard to describe my feelings.

Now I have many questions to explore. After a year off school and my job as leader of professional development, I am going back to work full time. How will I manage to keep up my professional learning in formal and informal frameworks? Will I continue this blog which was essentially a study tool or will I begin a new work blog? I imagine that this will all become clear to me in the next few weeks.

This blog has taken on a role very different from that intended at the outset. I thought I was opening this site as a means of recording my study notes but it has become far more than that. Blogging has helped me develop my identity as a teacher and as a researcher, it has helped me think and reflect. My writing here has brought me into a community of edubloggers, wonderful people who, as I wrote in my thesis “have let me into their hearts and into their classrooms”.

I want to thank you for reading my work. I never imagined that anyone would find this blog and would take the time to read it. You have all made a great contribution to my study and to my thesis on professional learning for teachers. I appreciate you giving me your precious time, the flowers at the top are for you! 

 The next step is preparing my thesis for journal publication, another step in this wonderful endless journey of professional learning.

But… today I am on lifeguard duty at the pool… an exhausting experience of a totally different kind.

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